quotations/overheards from back in the day, in no particular order:
"the details of my life are quite inconsequential. my father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. my mother was a 15 year old french prostitute named chloe with webbed feet. my father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. my childhood was typical: summers in rangoon, luge lessons. in the spring, we'd make meat helmets. when i was insolent, i was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. pretty standard, really." [dr. evil]
"we're scorpios, remember? we want it all the time." [angeline]
"jude = sex" [common knowledge]
"bounce, bitch! bounce!!" [tina]
"we need to make more videos -- private ones that no one else can see" [tina]
"food is just life; it makes life worth living" [angeline]
"I don't mind a hand there, but I DO mind a head there." [wishes to remain anonymous]
"don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." [?]
"life is a lot like tetris... sometimes you get the "s" shaped pieces and life sucks, but sometimes you keep on getting the straight lines, and then it's all good." [?]
i have the best little sister on earth...
"life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think." [fortune cookie]
austin powers: "WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?"
tom arnold: "that's right, buddy, you show that turd who's boss."
"to describe happiness is to diminish it." [stendhal]
"a misty morning does not signify a cloudy day." [proverb]
"did somebody steal my vogue?!!" [karl weis]
"come to japan! you'll get lots of play!" [ai]
"red stapler.. ri-i-i-ght" [office space]
"he's holding a gun! nevermind ... it's a bagpipe." [katherine]
"ms. pepe and habelt" [angeline]
"they're testes!" [jennie in bio]
DEAR Mikvah, Your owner is a liar. A haiku for you.
Leah and her lies.
Leah's lies about Levi's.
You modeled? My ass.
7-eleven man is our friend; indian stalker, on the other hand, is not.
"i just try to think of really stupid people as mental speedbumps on the road of life. I try to avoid them, but if i can't, i just slow up a little and roll over them as gently as possible." [?]
"i'm so happy, I could bounce off three walls and go into the corner pocket." [?]
"have you ever noticed how people who wear camouflage gear really stand out in a crowd?" [?]
"dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today." [james dean]
"i've always had this sinking suspicion, that if the world were to stop spinning, we'd all be incredibly dizzy." [?]
"everything you can imagine is real." [pablo picasso]
"when it is dark enough, you can see the stars." [charles a. beard]
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." [eleanor roosevelt]
"never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." [jesse jackson]
"imagine." [john lennon]
"if my heart can become pure and simple, like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this." [kitaro nishida]
austin powers: "judo chop!"
"that's not your mother, it's a man, baby."
"that really hurt! Who throws a shoe? honestly!"
"groovy baby YEAH!"
dr. evil: "begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!"
"in the springtime we'd make meat helmets."
"i'm hip, i'm with it ... taca taca taca taca oooh oooh."
"why make trillions when we could make... billions?"
paddy o'brien: "they're always after me lucky charms."
austin: "so what exactly do you do, #2?"
#2: "that's my business. now if you'll excuse me, i have to go to the little boys' room."
"i envision a day when chickens can cross the road without having their intentions put into question." [?]
"our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." [thoreau]
"when we understand, things are just as they are. when we don't understand, things are just as they are." [greeting card]
"me want cookie!" [cookie monster]
"we're not laughing *at* you, we're laughing *with* you. now, if you'd just start laughing, that whole concept would fall right into place." [?]
"we be clubbin'" [ice cube]
"it's dr. evil, i didn't spend six years in evil medical school to be called 'mister,' thank you very much." [dr. evil]
"you know, i have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. can you remind me what i pay you people for? honestly, throw me a bone here!" [dr. evil]
LuNA TiC I c E: do lo shee
chenchers: gan ma
chenchers: we're playing poker rite now
chenchers: betting with jelly bellies
LuNA TiC I c E: .....
LuNA TiC I c E: college students! sigh.
LuNA TiC I c E: to think that you guys are the future of this world. sigh.
"a friend is someone who doesn't like the same people you do." [proverb]
"it is not what you give your friend, but what you are willing to give him that determines the quality of friendship." [mary dixon thayer]
"but, this weekend is sex sex for me!!" [anonymous]
"let's vortex it!!" [gina]
"i wish i could fart, but there's ppl all the time so" [anonymous]
Saya715: iz about chad stealing ur sea monkeys
"god! and i need to orgasm." [anonymous]
FireEyedFreak: i know i just turned you on
ColumbiaCate: bring a HOT SINGLE FRIEND
"to be or not to be, get thee to a nunnery!" [that super-condensed version of hamlet]